I used to be really very shy and I didn’t dare to talk to strangers.Then I went to work in the sales and I got all sorts of trainings. I myself have changed so much by the sales, am totally no longer shy and can have a conversation with almost everyone. Listening is very important, because people want to feel heard. A lot of people talk a lot, but rarely listen and that’s where it often goes wrong. My tip is to look at sales movies or even workouts and also have your very good books about it. Me that helped tremendously, you would never think I was shy earlier:)
You could say that you get better by doing it often.However, if the approach of a conversation is to train your “communicative skills”, that is a very wrong motive. See with people talking not as an exercise. Instead, talk to others because you like to find out more about someone. Realize that you can learn something from every person and that everyone has a very own story and many personal interests that they are often happy to tell.
A personality has many aspects and a person undertakes a lot in a day.Ask what someone is doing and what someone likes it. Try not to think about what you can tell for fun things to someone, but instead ask the other one. Listen well and ask when someone tells something to give them the signal that you find it fun and interesting when the person is more in depth.
Don’t try to train your “communicative skills”, but try to find out what they like in as many people as possible, ask them about it and see what you can learn from them.If that is your approach to every conversation, you will find that these skills follow by themselves.
Listen to what another really has to say.This sincere attention ensures a better response to what is being told.
Skilful communication is understanding each other.It asks from you:
Effort to really listen to the other, with your full attention.You understand that people are complex, that you do not know beforehand what the other will say and that you are in the present with all your intellect and try to see and understand things about the other. With new eyes.
Say what is said and the body language
Take time to build your understanding according to the information you receive and while you receive it.Suggest formulating your answer.
Clarification questions, if in doubt.
Take time to process the saying, after another no longer talks, if you deem it necessary.Don’t be hasty in your reply.
Formulate your answer carefully and determine until it is discussed.
Help the other to understand your answer.Ask them. Assume that you may not have acquired it clearly enough. Clarify it as needed, in response to your contemplated understanding of what the other said.
You are strongly aware of the essence of the other.
Your full presence.
Communicating more effectively is a valuable skill to master.Because poor communication can have disastrous consequences: loss of time, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, unproductive meetings, ineffective teamwork and lack of progress.
To communicate successfully, there are seven basic rules that you can apply in both your work and your home and other environments.
1.First Thank you
Before you want to convey a message to the other, express your appreciation for the time the other gives you.Time is valuable and must be respected. Thank the other also for the contribution he or she delivers. A little bit of appreciation brings you very far in building a good contact.
2.Build a connection
Develop a personal connection: find something common, whether it’s weather, or sports, a pet, a hobby,… Show interest in family, projects or other elements that make up an important part of the life of the other.A connection ensures that the other is more open to what you have to say.
3.Maintain your positive attitude
Be as constructive as possible in your statements and questions.Give encouraging appreciation. Look at something positive to emphasize. This way you avoid that your interlocutor feels pushed into the defensive and that your conversation will be less productive.
Watch your tone
While you are assertive and transferring your point, it is of course not the intention that you will get aggressive.You can be confident and direct without intimidate. Stay calm and strive for an attitude of cooperation.
5.Determine which result you want
It is important to know what objective you have: do you want to share knowledge or advice, are you looking for an agreement, you want to agree or are you looking for the solution to a problem?Your desired result helps to influence the conversation.
Make eye contact, be respectful and do not interrupt.Seeks to understand the position of the other. Keep your mind open. Being able to appreciate different perspectives is an invaluable communication technique. In addition, pay careful attention to body language, both that of yourself and that of the other.
Make sure the other one clearly understands what you want to say.We often think that we have an agreement to discover later that there was a misunderstanding. Ask for input, thoughts and the opinion of the other. Not only does this information help you, but the other one also feels that his/her opinion is appreciated. Ask immediately for confirmation of who is going to do what, against when. Possibly even in written form. Verbal agreements are often vague. What is on paper is clear and concrete.
Finally, always try to conclude with a positive note and with a thank you.
It is so that by practicing you get better at something.The same goes for communicating. I used to never be good at communicating, but the more often you communicate the easier it is and the easier you feel during a conversation.
The way I learned this is exactly how I explained it above.Try to talk to people. Make sure to make your conversations feel a little more at home. Make a conversation personal that will really make sure you are going to make an effective call.
Also try to apply other styles of talk and see what effect it has on people.As I said it is a matter of practicing and doing.