How can I get a narcissist to take off his mask?

Wait!

No seriously, sooner or later they show their true face.Mostly not in public. Among acquaintances, he is the charming entertainer. Always a bit too loud, always a bit too funny. He needs the undivided attention. Happy from the opposite sex. Admiration, laughter, praise in the form of looks, gestures and words.

You can see that.

He even pretends to listen to the others.He throws out the bait to find out who is suitable for his purposes.

Who could be a potential host.

The “mask” often falls in small pieces.

If you find yourself unsuitable early, even in larger ones.

There can be a licked jam spoon after your first night, the end (which is usually implemented quickly, as this is an important supply for him) and he will not hold back to make this clear to you.

If this happens so early, congratulations!You have spared yourself the hell for months and years!

If you identify yourself as a suitable victim, breaking the facade in stages, you can also see that, you just need to know what to look out for.

Recognize the signs!

An exaggerated idealization phase (Lovebombing), in which you think you have found your soulmate, whom you want to marry immediately, is followed by the very subtle devaluation…

You will have entrusted him with a lot, fine, he has all remembered that, you remember the attentive listening?!

What you told him in trust, because it was your soulmate, he will now use against you.Sometimes subtle, but also direct.

For example, if you have a problem taking photos of you, he will regularly tell you that he feels it’s an affront to himself, that you don’t want to take photos with him and that he can’t present them on Facebook.Aren’t you standing by him? That’s not good for your relationship.

If you ever have an argument with him again (for which you probably can’t) who came out of the blue and you might be able to avoid responding to his dozens of WhatsApp messages, then it could happen that he has an unsightly Snapshot he secretly took of you (you may even have asked him to delete him), posted somewhere, including a mean sub-line.

He may insinuate that you have male friends from whom you want something more.If you’re online “too often,” e.g. on WhatsApp, he’ll insinuate that you’re chatting with other men. The purpose is clear: you want to date with them (cheat, leave them).

And no, it’s not just sweet in this case that he’s a little jealous.It has no limits, which applies to him, does not apply to you by a long way.

This is the time when lying and cheating comes to devalue.For these absurd accusations and insinuations are now exactly what he is doing.

He will have met someone or several in the time and now wants to focus on that person(s).At this moment you are quite obstructive.

He provokes an argument so that you can separate, at least for a short period of time, and he can try out his new source in peace.If it is found useful, it can run side by side. But maybe it will be you who will play a supporting role from now on.

Later, he will blame you for such disputes.And it’s up to you that things aren’t going so well in the meantime. You are too suspicious. You want to know too much. Maybe you’ve been spying behind him (rightly). Most likely you will slowly get the feeling of going crazy.

He will give you this feeling (gaslighting).Something is wrong, you feel it very well but you can’t grasp/understand it. You stick in a web of lies, half-truths, jealousy (he will make you feel it).

Still, he’ll keep bringing you back, perhaps even with “apologies” and sensational stories (hoovering).You are still too valuable. He gets something from you that he doesn’t get from the others yet.

You are becoming more and more insecure.Your mood is usually not so good. Especially because you are looking forward to being with him in the first place and that will be less and less common. You can’t explain it to you. This man who put you above all. You were something never before. Who recently wanted to marry you, planned a holiday with you. And he still does, because he keeps it open. He keeps you on standby a little bit. You’re not quite on the ground yet. You can give him something else. Even if it’s not much anymore. And less and less. Just as you’re getting less and less.

All these signs, these little building blocks that are composed only cause you to replace you in the end.These are all parts of his mask, which dissolves piece by piece. Because what the mask showed, you will never see again. That’s over. The performance is over. There has long been a new audience that is immaculate and uncritical. And no matter how high the entrance was and you thought I’d still sit a little bit and wait if the movie ends well, the price was too high.

So if your gut feeling tells you that this could be a person with narcissistic personality disorder, be extremely careful and if you are sure, take good care of yourself and finish it yourself with your head raised, upright and without further Contact.

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