If you could do a test to make sure you could trust the person 100%, you would not need the word “trust” anymore.The test would make the meaning of the word irrelevant. Trust is just about that small piece of estimation where you cannot be 100% sure.
Suppose we do this with the word “faith”.I stand somewhere on a busy market and I call, “I believe God exists”. As long as I cannot demonstrate with 100% certainty that God exists, I use the word faith correctly. Now suppose that I can make God appear through a spell (test) whenever I want and so can show that he exists. Then I am not going to call “I believe”, but then I call “I know”.
Therefore, the choice to trust someone is always a risk.And this risk, is your own personal risk. So do not be angry with the one who has failed to trust what you have given this person. You know in advance, when you take someone in confidence, that there is a chance that the person will fail.
People often react astonished, angry and full of disbelief when someone harms their trust.But seldom do you see people taking responsibility for their own choice to trust a particular person. It is, of course, much easier to be angry and disappointed with the person who has harmed your trust, then to look critically at yourself and admit that you have made an error of estimation.
When you choose to trust someone, you must realise that you have no influence on the outcome.What you do have an impact on is how you react when your trust is compromised.
There are several ways to deal with giving confidence.
For example: A friend of mine asks if he can borrow 10 euros.He promises that he paid me the money back as soon as possible.
Scenario 1: I pick up my wallet, give him 10 euros and say, “I trust that you paid me the 10 euros back as soon as possible.
When this did not happen then I react baffled and angry.I throw some blame for his head and become problematic to continue the friendship at all.
Scenario 2: I’m considering if I can miss the money.When I can miss the money I give him the 10 euros and I say, “Just look when you can pay me back.”
When it now appears that he is not planning, or is super nonchalant as far as the money is paid back, my own response is different.I have invested 10 euros to find out if this friend is trustworthy with regard to borrowing money. With regard to borrowing money, I now know what I am up to.
Now we have it in the above example about borrowing money.But giving confidence in people is happening in all sorts of areas. Imagine sitting in a relationship and you must be confident that your partner is faithful to you. Or you are a soldier and you must be confident that your colleague will give you back cover in a gunfight. That same colleague who will fight to the bitter end in a firefight would be able to disappoint you with regard to borrowing money.
To complete.Taking someone in confidence is always a leap in the deep. You have to weigh yourself or you want to take the risk, because when it appears that the given confidence is impaired, you have to sit on the blisters yourself.