Please read this until the end.
- Rule 1: Stop responding to their nonsense.
All of it.
It is very difficult to do this or even try.I see it as art. Literally everything a narcissist does is an attempt to get you to react to it. Literally everything that is not even exaggerated. Even the things that actually happen and are true in every aspect, and they say it as it is, you still can’t react. You can respond, which shows that you don’t fall for your game, but as soon as you respond, they take it as a sign that you believe in the misprojected image. As soon as you stop reacting, the mask slips out and will do it very often, then it will crack. Once their mask cracks, they can no longer be near you without the mask completely slipping. They will start to shun you because they know that it will inevitably happen if they stay near you. At this point, they may be trying to destroy you by telling everyone you know all sorts of shit that aren’t true or the party is true but grotesquely distorted. This is a last effort from them to get you to react. If you don’t, everyone will see who they really are.
- Rule 2: Don’t play their game.
Play no game
Once you’ve played with them, even if you’re only two (this is a game where you’ll never beat them because they built up their entire identity when they won this game), you’re going to win every time.It’s not a game that should have a winner, but once you’ve decided to play, no matter what action you take in that game, you lose immediately. That doesn’t mean they win, but if you lose, I know you’re already being crushed. Recognize that they need to do this to stay afloat. Know that it’s always them – they MUST play this game to feel normal at all. They have to go in and destroy people irreparably and drive them crazy so that they look normal by comparison. Look deep into yourself and ask, “Is it really worth it that they feel bad about the terrible things they do?” If you answer yes to this question, you will eventually become it and may be on the right track. If you say no, they just stop playing their games. This includes people who have brainwashed them do not even respond to the things they say. If you try to explain something, you lose. If you let the effort get your way (it’s really about not displaying it, you have to get to a point where it bounces right off and doesn’t even hurt), you’ll be crushed and back at number one. If you even admit that they hurt you or that the things they say have a basis in reality, you lose (and you lose the worst here because you have no redemption – no one will believe you and you will be alone.) .
- Rule 3: Very VERY be patient.
When dealing with a narcissist, the only way to regain your strength and show everyone is that you are not what he says, you are prepared to be part of it in the long run.Be prepared to feel very alone so that you will feel alone until you die. That’s all in the hope that one-day things will be different. First follow the other rules and then you can do so. You will never be able to be so patient until you master the first two rules. You will have to wait an immeasurable time (it could take a few hours or until you are 80 if you live that long). Live for this day, as it will be your only consolation. Even if you get off and can’t make contact, the things they do will follow you, even if you don’t make contact and stop trying to float. These things live on in your psyche.
- Rule 4: Recognize yourself.
Recognize yourself so well that everything they say or do never gets traction in your own head and heart.You know what they are doing is a lie because you know who you are and what you say to you, about you and you have nothing to do with it. You don’t even have to worry about what it’s all about. All you need to know is you. Develop deep patience with you. Love yourself. Actually love who you are. I love it very much. This kind of love is not what a narcissist has for itself or projects on its sources of supply. It is a deep satisfaction of who you are and to realize that exactly what you are is worthy of the kind of love you give yourself. Recognize that you can give this love to others and you can choose who you give it to. Recognize that love is power – recognize it, feel it in your GOOD. And don’t let anything that someone does or says or thinks change that. This will be your greatest ally even in the most confusing and bleak situations. This has nothing to do with dealing with a narcissist (it’s just an asset), but it has everything to do with you.
Start with Rule 4. It’s hard to start, believe me, I know.But it’s what you need first.