How can a narcissist look at the things he has done to the people who love him in the mirror?

If they look in the mirror, then just to check if the hairstyle is sitting.Anything other than being good on the outside is not important. The main thing is that the vest remains beautifully white. For this, washed emotionally disturbed people would even go over corpses – even their own mother.

I could tell some toxic anecdotes about the woman who gave birth to me.Let me give an example: when I was 20, she blackmailed me. At that time I had been together for a few years with my first great love, we were happy, we wanted to go into the future together. Suddenly, one day, like in a fake movie, the woman who gave birth to me told me, “Either you separate yourself from it or you pack your suitcases and fly out of here! And think about what you’re doing, because you only have parents once.”

I was paralyzed.This woman was and is dominant, even towards my father, who is nothing more than her slave and henchman. At the time, she did not give a reason, contradiction was dangerous and useless anyway. yes, I was already of legal age. This happened in a time window when I was still materially dependent on my parents, I was still in the middle of my studies, had no money of my own and lived in boarding school, at weekends with my parents. There was no plausible reason to worry that my friend would have a bad influence on me. He was determined, smart, athletic, did not smoke, avoided alcohol in unhealthy amounts, was able to handle money well, had good manners – there was no stone of offense from my point of view.

Anyway, I got down on my knees back then.I’ve been blackmailed, yes, I’ve loosened the bond and given myself something like a stun gun to endure it. I was weak. At the time, I was weak.

Anyway.My so-called mother’s complaints about me run like a thread through my life. Time and again it has escalated in ever stronger form. A few years ago, there was a written exchange of blows. This was preceded by a final farewell to my so-called mother on her birthday at her front door, saying: “Without you, we are much better off.” My father stood beside it, without emotion. Slaves don’t shrug when the ruler says something. Of course, I knew exactly what she was aiming for with this sentence: that I (in her eyes) goddamn and ungrateful daughter (the only one by the way) would like me to put more effort into providing my parents with constant fun and attention and damned again finally Fulfill all the unspoken expectations she has of me, so that the facade remains beautifully perfect. My mother’s facade.

The mistake when she said this sentence, I felt a sense of relief and liberation, because I finally had something tangible that clearly revealed my mother’s immanent lovelessness, a clear, clear proof – one that she told me on my behalf. served the silver tray.She has simply leaned too far out of the window in her arrogant-mannered manner. For me, it was like a sign that it is now time to finally cut off the already sparse, because hard-to-bear contact. In between, the contact had already been torn off for 5 years, until the two of them knocked on my door again under a pretext. These five years I have been very relaxed in my memory. On the way home, I thought in the car all the time: “If I said this sentence, it would be right. WITHOUT YOU, I would be better off.” But at the same time, I felt a regret that it was.

A year later, my mother again looked like a stalker with phone-snerves (I didn’t go) and text messages contacting me again.Not a word of regret about her last sentence, as if all this had never happened. She wanted to ask if she and my father could visit me At Easter. My answer was a long, 25-page letter revisiting my view of life with them. Without apportioning blame, but clearly, unvarnished and therefore certainly anything but a good reference for parents. I just showed my view of things and my emotions. I also came to talk about blackmail and explained in the letter that it was a mistake of mine at the time to have made my wrong decision and that the break-up with my parents had already taken place at the latest by that time.

My mother responded in a 15-page letter with justifications for everything.And – after decades!!!! – I now know the reason (which is nothing more than a pretext pulled by the hair and yet makes you look deep) for its blackmail: I would have cleaned my friend’s motorcycle at that time (I can’t remember, I always have only my cleaned) at my parents’ house in the garden while my friend is supposed to have watched me. My mother had observed this, she didn’t like it – that’s why my boyfriend had to leave. So- and the only daughter is now also gone…..

So much for the subject, whether the penny will fall at some point in real narcissism…..

Any questions?

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