It’s not a good thing I think, but part of the kids don’t know who the actual biological father is. Then I am not just talking about adoptive, or absent fathers.Decades back, Dutch doctors have been researching blood types. It turned out that of 10% of the children, the father is not the biological father.
Luckily, I know who my father is and how I know it is due to a rare phenotype.I am glad that I have that knowledge. I can traced my family tree and it feels nice to remember that the stories you hear, you also belong to it, the family pieces are also really family pieces and the whole is true. I would see that as a gem when I hadn’t.
Yeah, that’s very.Your identity is co-formed by knowing your roots: My mother, her parents (my grandfather and grandma), maybe their parents. My father, his parents, possibly grandparents. On the basis of their stories, their histories, you can decide for yourself.
Adoptive children are often looking for their own history.This is not a criticism of their adoptive parents, it is a form of self-determination. They are willing to travel the world for it. Again: You are partly formed by the narrative of your parents, grandparents. Where do I come from, who am I, what am I: basic questions about yourself, about how and what you are, about how and by whom you are formed.
Every person has the right to their own father and mother.
I have not known my father for a long time.Was not a nice youth. But it also has to do with the culture in which you have grown up.
Have met him once on my 23th and on me 27th.Weird experience, but since then it’s no stranger anymore. My brother and sister later also received announcements about him.
In my case a very emotionally charged subject.
I think you especially need a lot of affection to grow healthy.A father is not very important except for developing a healthy self-image (for boys). Other adults are usually not suitable for this role. From your childhood, you only have a few men at certain times that are an example and others that are not. Even that is not suitable will give you a crooked and suspicious picture of men.
Also, you have fantasies, the father as a liberator.About the same as the Heavenly Father.
For example, In the Caribbean culture where some women have no long-term relationship, the children also develop with a weird emotional life, I think. Those are the feelings that are inside.Grief that everyone carries with them.
There was also a Korean adoptive child visiting us once.Years ago. Then you feel a kind of kinship, a shared gem.
This lack has a lot to do with my identity.On the one hand, you are more criminally, on the other hand much more caring. I just happened to my brother in the past few days. At 57 he got cancer. And but work and work, just as if he removed his frustrations (the same thing) in that way.
Tambawala.When I was very small my two-year-old brother was my main father. Weird though.
Yes and No.. It’s very not to know you ate for land. But speaking to myself, it seems less painful than knowing it, and every time it has to realise that it is absolutely not interesting to him.
I would not dare to tell you, because I do not know what it is to know your father.I can make an idea of it, but that feeling remains second-hand.
My biological father let my mother sit there when she was (unintentionally) pregnant with me, so I’ve never seen 芒 鈧劉 m.
From my third to my seventeenth I still had a stepfather, but he and I had a relationship that we both would be without hesitation as 芒 鈧?艙failkt芒 鈧?
What I can tell you is that growing up without a role model doesn’t fall yet.My stepfather was a role model of the type 芒 鈧?艙so it must in any case not芒 鈧?
I myself have never begat children 芒 鈧?”I would have been like death.
Another consequence was that I thought from childhood that women are loyal, and men are unreliable acorns.That’s quite tricky to realize when you know you’ll become a man later. I have had very few male friends for that very reason. But that’s another story again.
When I met my wife, there were two children (girls) in a package deal, one of nine and one of twelve.It is a mystery to me today how it has been able to do so well. The eldest, for example, went through a difficult puberty, but on a good day she suddenly had a Plan for her… and then she asked me how she had to deal with it.I told her then that if she would make that plan concrete, with a timeline and a cost budget and everything on it and Eran, and she would submit that elaborate plan to her mother, then she would have had her mother behind him. And with that plan I wanted to help.
The fact that she trusted me was new.Apparently she saw me as someone who was open to it, and had the best for her, and above all: took her seriously. I think this is the most important factor now.
And the youngest was pretty clever, and she wanted to know everything.So I challenged her regularly intellectually, and if she found or thought something, I was there as the chickens to ask her why she thought or liked it. That was a tricky thing, but she later had to let go of her mother (never against me of course) that she learned from it. 🙂
I did have a good working role model as Grandpa.Meanwhile, we have four grandchildren, and that’s pretty good. So I’m not completely defective.
But I think you can determine that it is quite tricky.
Do we know who our father is?At 10 percent or so, it turns out not to knock at all that you think ha, that guy is me pa, but it does not appear to be so. Can you trust your parents? Have you EVER tested DNA? Then you have a chance of 1 in 10 that you pa your PA is not. How bad is that?
Your father is a seed donor.Your dad is the man who has always cared for you. Whoever your father is, is apparently absolutely irrelevant, because that 10% who does not know, has no burden whatsoever!
That can only answer people in that situation.Unfortunately, it is also sometimes better not to know them.
I am a member of a Facebook group where donor children talk about how it is not to know who your father is. I think that at most 5% of people have a 芒 鈧?虄it can’t do Me Anything鈩?mentality.
The rest find it to be more and/or lesser degree anyway to not know who you are descended from.Many go looking and many are angry because they feel to be lied to.
I myself am glad that I have known my father.
A part of your personality is partly shaped by how you look at your parents, your roots, what do I have from whom, in such cases, you miss half.
And I do not yet agree on hereditary diseases.
Seems to me not to be pleasant, but if your mother does not want to tell it for some reason, that is her right.She could wait for fear until your biological father died. Not knowing who your mother is seems to me even worse. She has carried you 40 weeks.