The loss of our baby daughter in 1983 to a bakterial mennonitis TGV a blood poisoning from a middle ear inflammation caused by pneumococcal (Streptococcus pneumoniae), an extremely rare complication of an intermediate ear Inflammation, never before heard, nor after ever experienced again/heard, determined by myself at my homecoming from my work, immediately included in our hospital, confirmed the diagnosis and treated according to the arrangements of art, the day after to a Academic pediatric Intensive Care department transferred, after two weeks after two full flat EEGs on two consecutive days (no more brain activity, so brain death) discontinued treatment, she was 8 weeks old then.At that time I was responsible for the adult intensive care department in my own hospital. See Liang-Hai Sie’s answer to What is it like to lose a child?
-My family took precedence over an important but very self-directed jealous demanding person in the further family
-I was once again very painful to be aware of the limitations of us.I have to say immediately that this type of meningitis by Pneumococci shows a general mortality rate of 50%, also with the best possible treatment, in our case no patient nor doctor delay since I immediately asked the diagnosis, she was Probably in her case even worse for being in the immunity Dal/Nadir wrong: The antibodies obtained from mother had already dropped away, while those of her self had not yet started. At that time no vaccine against Pneumococci was suitable for children.
-Our eldest son, who was then 2 3/4 years old, who was initially extremely jealous of the new sister, but after her death she missed very much: although he had largely been there, he could not have gone dead from sister yet well, every time we passed The University Medical Center reason he asked if we could take a little sister home, reminding him that that could not, sister was dead, after all, he had to see her coffin for the altar in the church, heartbreaking.Great was his joy when a new sister was born a year later, he promised to feed her, and to teach her everything he knew, he also did very seriously. They now still have a very special bond with each other 35 years later, which makes us very happy as parents.
In My 19 years I have already made quite a lot with it.Several events that have turned my life upside down, but one rises far above it.
I ended up in a heavy burnout in 2016 (age 16, almost 17).This happened in the beginning of 5 havo, exam year. My high School time I was always very focused on getting my diploma as fast as I can, so that I could finally leave my past behind me and hit my own path. But after a month in my exam year I collapsed and with it my goal completely. I couldn’t do anything more. I had completely broken myself both physically and psychotically. Couldn’t go to school anymore, barely stay awake. Right to sit and eat took so much energy, energy that I no longer had. I did not have the energy and power to really think and concentrate. The burnout has completely withdrawn me from school for more than a year and everything I had worked on. My burnout is mainly caused by the way my personality is built up in my past, something that is not easy to change, this plus my mental problem makes it very difficult to fight my way out of my burnout.
I could not go to school for more than a year and because I still was not recovering from my burnout after a year, I could not go back to regular education.So I had to go to special education, to spread my exam here over two years. Only because of my burnout and other problems I am still not recovering today, and I have not succeeded in closing everything within those two years of the exam. I have completed 2 of the 7 courses. This year I finished 1 more box on special education. After that I have to get away from the special education to the Vavo to finish my last 4 years in the 2 year period.
MBO is not possible because I have to be fully present again, now go to school several half days a week, and then get all new fabric.And giving up is not an option because I cannot sue my dreams to become a forensic researcher without a HAVO diploma.
The burnout is my life-changing event/period.Fought my whole life and battled to the point that I could literally no longer be aware of the approaching danger. Now I have at the earliest my complete HAVO diploma the year I would actually finish my 4 year course. A painful realization that I unfortunately cannot ignore.
I have had the happiness (?) to meet a woman who premeditated my heart for monetary gain only at a later age.Until then I could still trust people. Now no more, and therefore I feel an insoluble loneliness.