I have already told in several answers about the bullying story of my first son, for whom going to school became a real hell ride.
He was in the third grade and a bloody young teacher, still a trainee in the last school year, took over the class, which was already quite through due to the long illness of the class teacher and months of representation.
Since this teacher had taken over the views and assessments of the individual children by the former class teacher and wanted to uphold the motto of the school: “There is no bullying with us!”, it became more and more terrible for my son.No matter what he did, how he acted, it was always wrong and in the end he was always the culprit. Is it quite clear that the children are showing him that his behaviour is not ok, is it?
The class was located in the basement of the school building.When the teachers disappeared into the break, the children were often unattended there, even if they were not officially allowed to stay there during the breaks, One day (in the morning lessons he was from the entire troupe, including teacher, for a promise Had been laughed at, he had dealt with punitive work because instead of writing it off, his seat neighbour had broken his new pencil and threatened to smash it in his ear if he whistled it) He decided not to go to the schoolyard with the others during the break, but to stay alone downstairs. So that no one could see him from above, he sat down the stairs to eat his bread in peace.
Someone noticed his absence, the teacher wanted to get him, he refused.He didn’t want to talk to her or even come along, she screamed at him, he was completely tight. Head between the knees, eyes too. The teacher couldn’t help herself other than get the principal. But the child did not want to obey that either. At one point, when asked why he didn’t want to go to the schoolyard, he replied: I don’t have a buck on all the anymore!
And so I got a call, Please please SOFORT pick up my son from the director.When I arrived there, I was presented with a letter which said: “Because of the possible risk of suicide, we can take care of their son … no longer guarantee and suspend him from teaching with immediate effect. ” Jau!
By this time, the child had already been psychologically tested twice, had begun occupational therapy and was on the waiting list of several psychotherapists.The director then suggested that I hand him over to the child and adolescent psychiatry. If they had hired him properly, he could be reintegrated into the class according to the Hamburg model: in the first week an hour, in the second two, in the third three… But in this way they could not continue to train him, he could not expect his teachers to do so.
No, the child does not have an AD(H)S diagnosis.It had only been bullied for two years, shortly after the parents separated. perfect! We have the culprits!
If I just think about what this director wanted to cheer me on… Remember, Mr K., you always meet twice in your life.And if we should first meet again in the eternal hunting grounds, then just rappelt there again…
I then set heaven and hell in motion in order to get the child back to school as quickly as possible and for the first time seriously considered a change of school.The director had probably already guessed this, at least he took the trouble to warn all the surrounding schools about the amokmama with their mentally disturbed foster child, so my efforts were in vain at first. Then I initiated a big “round table”. Present: the class teacher, the principal, the school psychologist (who on this date flatly claimed that she had not heard of bullying in this case – how good that I was able to prove that she had been a so-called months ago. bullying diary demanded and also received), me, my friend and the child’s swimming instructor (at that time pretty much the only person who didn’t think the child was “psycho”). On the table: the psychological test results, the recommendations based on them, the bullying diary, the testimonials and some sheets with drawings, which in the opinion of the teachers pointed to suicidal tendencies. Does anyone still know the beautiful game “Galgenm盲nnchen”? Nice try, but these leaves were not by my son…
It was absurd theatre.I was told that my son could not change classes within the school because no teacher was willing to accept him, but they would like to put him in a support school. The recommendations of the psychological tests could be disregarded, since they would not have been tested in a school situation, they had no idea. And this bullying story… “How dare they claim something like this? There is no bullying!” – as I said: the diary was on the table.
The teacher got out of the dust after a quarter of an hour.I lasted almost an hour before I got up and said that I did not feel that I was being taken seriously, nor the prospect of reaching a consensus. When I pointed out that I would now contact the school superintendent, as I would insist on the training of my child, then came the offer to try it from the next week with two hours per day…
We tried it, but it only went well for two days until the children got together in the locker room to lock my son in a closet, which the teacher didn’t want to notice for a whole school lesson.He then refused to put even one foot in this school building, making it clear that a change of school would be inevitable.
I don’t know exactly how we managed to put him at the nearest school, but it worked.Only the stamp that his old school put on him has faded very slowly.