“If you heal a narcissist you will keep a depressed person.” (Free to Beyaard, former physician director of the Pieter Baan Centrum)
Keep that in mind.Narcissism is the defense of depressive. And let’s be orphans, you may be better narcissist than depressed.
Main feature of a narcissist: a greatly increased chastability.Rejection, criticism, not recognizing the greatness: it can lead to tremendous rage attacks. The anger is meant to keep you in the harness: Acknowledge me as very special.
Narcisten can wreak tremendous damage in their anger, also to people (hence the P.B.C.). I know them from my forensic practice.’ Cure ‘ is a big word. ‘ Bijschaven ‘, that’s still going to be. In an EVT psychotherapy is not the krentability, but the feared depression is central. A job of years.
So the world of perception: fear (not to be recognized as grand), directing (How do I keep the other there, lest I be recognized) and the eternal feelings of depression that are in the background.A difficult life, both for the narcissist and his/her surroundings.
By depression and dissatisfaction in their heads they are always looking to not feel that pain and misery.
Always looking for new sex partners is something that takes that away temporarily.
Drugs is something that temporarily takes away.That’s not to say you can see that. They can be very well functioning, and you don’t see anything.
And with their permanent partners, their emotions also go on all sides, which in addition to all cheating makes life more enjoyable for the partner.
Because of all the emotions that come along all sides, they also attract and dispose of their partners.
And break down.
They are hyper-sensitive, while on the other hand they have no problem to hurt anyone, and then shake it off, to do it again exactly in the next victim. And hate themselves while at the same time they can have greattheistic madness.And they may think they are above the law. Especially if they get away with everything over the years.
Some old lies may become part of their own, which makes them emotionally true in their emotional world.But all new lies they are very well aware of what they do. They take extreme steps to keep their double person, and life secret. So usually they have more than 1 phone. So you never can find all the smses with all the others where they are texting me and.
Their hypersensitivity and great shame is that they can take extreme measures to prevent exposure.From the moment they make your life income they prepare themselves to be able to defend themselves. Some content that they steal all the info from you, behind your back to. While everything still looks great to you. They are also known for the fact that people in their lives suddenly disappear or mysteriously die. Think of Chris Wats, Scot Peterson, Drew Peterson. All men who seem very normal and nice, who find everyone nice and nice, but a double life led. And narcissist.
This is the reason that you will never see a narcissist victim who sees film or photo/evidence on social media putting a few hundred people where her husband or wife has gone strangely behind her back. When it suddenly or gradually comes back that nothing is as it seemed.And that the man with whom she thought together to be does not exist at all.
While you do see it happen to someone where the man or woman has gone one or two or three times strange.With a chance that it will be everywhere on the news.
Narcissist victims can often not find their Tel nr anymore, their e-mail, nor their address.If you can find them anyway and you try to ask about their experience about their ex, they don’t want to talk about it. Still afraid of the consequences if they do. Or just because the memories are too painful or both.
Dangerous people, and with this, that I am writing about this now, I also take enormous risk.
I want this to come out.I myself had no idea what narcissist was holding until I had one in MN life. I thought it was a selfish person. Something people say to make someone black.
I think there is a lot of difference among narcissists amongst themselves.They are all different, but what they often do have in common is the vicious manipulated.
From myself I can say that I am a hidden narcissist.I don’t manipulate much, because I still have some empathy, although that’s pretty low. With me it also looks very different, because I have a lot of autism, in combination with the draw of borderline and the antisocial personality disorder. ‘ Unfortunately ‘ my answer is not a classic example of a manipulative, vicious narcissist, which most of them are looking for.
For example, I see hierarchies everywhere.Trying to win these people from me? Are they trying to humiliate me? I often have the idea that others have ‘ won ‘ in the most unsensible contexts and that gives me an inferior and vengeful feeling.
At certain times, I am convinced that everyone is against me and are conspiracies, or that I am being haunted because I have said things to help that might indicate that I could still be a bizarre dangerous, notorious criminal (narcissism + antisocial).This feeds my feelings of importance. ‘ I’m important! The police are chasing me, I am the focal point of attention, and still a very special centerpiece with a bizarre and intriguing brain. They think I’m smarter. I am so supposedly too. ‘ On the other hand, it destroys my own value, because I don’t want to be seen as a ‘ monster ‘. But it is particularly evident that every time it is more important, this poses a very serious conflict within me.
I am constantly working on jacking my own value by thinking that I am a special person.About how everyone finds me beautiful and interesting to look at as soon as I go out the door, how many men look at me, how talented I am not, how interesting my brain is not (especially versus relief) and I fantaalize that others are Clothes can see that I am supposedly rich.
I denialize people in my head who are a threat to me, which I think they criticize and condemn me.I shelled them out in my head. I hardly form any connections with people, so it was not difficult to break the contact with my father and brother (they did very ugly against me).
I prefer to have as large a network of friends as possible so that I feel important.For me it is a number. I have 20 friends, wow, so much! I only have 3, that’s too little. That does not mean that they do not all individually appreciate, but eventually they are replaceable.
I can’t resist authorities above me, then I feel inferior and pressed down.
Nothing saturates me.I am a tension seeker, but also quickly overstimulated. Friendships and the contact with my mother do not saturate me enough. It should always go more, more, more, more and longer, but it doesn’t work for most people.
I do, incidentally, take into account others ‘ limits, unless it becomes black before my eyes and I think that they have given me an instant, humiliated, mortified or sadistically treated (the latter may not necessarily be a narcissistic trait).
I often wake up with shame in the morning and I can hardly come out of my bed.Shame about the things I have said, especially against relief, because I have to keep my greatness high, otherwise I start to feel a heavily inferior, crappy stapled, and I can also feel suicidal. I have the idea that they do not always understand this. But I would also like to concentrate on personality disorders and conversations with a clinical psychologist. In addition, my brain is looked at even closer to a clinical psychologist and I feel important because I consider them to be highly educated.
I have fantasized about that, especially about proving my expertise and knowledge in the field of diagnoses, psychology and how I sit together, I would then be able to exchange knowledge with such a clinical psychologist.But I know that this should not be the goal of therapy, so I left that behind me, even though that was a very important fantasy. So you see that ‘ the reality ‘ and ‘ that which is correct ‘ then weighs more heavily, which is certainly related to autism.
I cannot cope with GZ-psychologists, because I constantly have the idea that they hate me, want to get me down and have no understanding for me (borderline-pulling).Then I denize them so hard in my mind that I am convinced that they are incapacitated house mothers who have forged their papers (narcissistic).
Sometimes I even think people are pretending to be stupid.For example, I suspected a psychiatric nurse that she had put two front teeth in her mouth to look stupid, because she thought I liked her, which was actually so (LOL).
But this is what the narcissism looks like in my perception world.
I also often remove replies that don’t get upvotes, another example.
I suppose it is asked whether someone can move into the perception world of a narcissist.Not in the perception world itself, that is not to be a neurotypical person either. On the basis of knowledge of the personality disorder one can move in the functioning of the perception world of a narcissist.
The problem is not that it is very difficult to gain access to the “captivating, instructive, profound emotional perception world of a narcissist”.
The perception world of a narcissist is incredibly empty, shy, lonely, deadly, horrific and repulsive.
A narcissist is incredibly fragile and afraid of emotional intimacy.
To protect himself from his very deeply tucked away feelings of inferiority, he tells people around him about his handsome, genial exploits.
A couple at the table.
“Darling, next week is your father’s birthday!Then we have to hear his stories again about the war. How he held forty German soldiers at a distance in Muzika. And of course all his other stories! Let’s just say that we don’t have much time and let us leave after an hour. “
Studying the perception world of a narcissist, is like studying the Sahara desert.
There is sand and there are rocks and hills. And for the rest there is only a poor drought. This is where you have described the whole Sahara.
A narcissist cannot listen. He falls into reason every minute, deviates from your speech and lapping your story to his boot.
He starts again about his heroic deeds and expects you to listen full of admiration.
He responds rude if his partner suffers or has a problem.
“Bert, I have dire headaches.I could not sleep tonight, because…….. “
“Headache?Don’t let me laugh! As leader of a billions project in construction I got a brick on my head! That’s only a headache.
All these women complain about their aches and pains!Don’t imagine! “
Real narcissists humiliate their partners, confuse their partners, drive their partners to despair.
“This is my house and you do what I say”
“You just cook a little in your kitchen!You should not interfere with things, because there are no minds of them. “
If the partner can no longer pull and cry, it becomes “really cozy for the narcissist” (???!!!).
“What are you to do!Are you a toddler girl? Does daddy need to change your little diaper? “
There is nothing interesting, or excusing or learning to the perception world of a narcissist.
The only question that is important to narcissists is, how you can avoid them.
Many women who have been married to a narcissist have needed years to get over the trauma!
You can learn to understand a narcissist, get to know it as an authentic person seems unlikely to me.However, what is paramount is that (each type) narcissist has a flawed empathic ability. His or her perception world is characterized by an unfillable desire that must be fulfilled by other persons (for a Narcissist: objects). These objects are not seen as individuals, but-depending on how strong narcissism is present-just as a means to achieve the goal: recognizing the ego. This is at the heart of the narcissist. The ego can take various forms in the experience world of the narcissist. The person behind the narcissist leads here-lonely-under. Therefore, you can compare them with a slave, of their ego.
H. D. Tudor (pseudonym) is a narcissist and writes about it at narcsite.com.If you want to know how a narcissist thinks this is really a must!