Does a narcissist still think of you after he has left you?
This issue raises a major issue.Since you are a psychologist, I cannot answer in your terminology. I am scientifically shaped and answer from a practical point of view.
“Leaving” means that an end to the relationship has occurred.It is about processing a separation.
In other articles I had written that the meeting of two people is mostly about the interrelationship of “narcissist to narcissist”.Today’s world has more or less provided us all with narcissistic features. A look into the smartphone and selfies with instant distribution to supposed virtual friends (database objects) are an example.
It seems to me that narcissists are particularly sensitive and intelligent people.They have hidden, sometimes serious, emotional injuries and reduced self-esteem. They must compensate for this by exaggerating and dominating others. This method of action is done by manipulating the other to become an object (victim) and to be put on the defensive. The narcissist compensates for his low self-esteem by the “noise of the senses” to be able to control others as he sees fit.
If the object of the narcissist is exploited – no more offers new sensory satisfactions – abrupt separation occurs. This can be a sudden separation SMS, a burst of anger for no apparent reason, or ice cold due to a communication stop.Usually the narcissist immediately plunges into a new relationship. Thanks to the diverse dating apps, this is also possible effortlessly. Especially since a narcissist is very attractive due to intelligence and charm and usually finds new objects of dominance effortlessly.
Since the narcissist is very intelligent and has a fine sense and thinking, his relationships are inwardly laid down, but not forgotten. The many cases of manipulation leave their mark.Similar to a drug, it must constantly increase the dose. This means that his actions are becoming more and more aggressive and abstruse.There is actually despair behind this, because he sees that his self-esteem does not increase and fear and loneliness increase.
A narcissist is in a precarious position.His “addiction” to dominance and humiliation does not allow him to rest. It is similar to drugs, alcohol or gambling addiction.
As a therapist, you are more of an expert.I think a behavioral therapy approach through accompanying conversational therapy can make a difference.In a serious case of narcissism, the internal injuries could be a long time ago. The refurbishment could take two to three years. However, you can better classify and assess this yourself.
To return to the origin of your question.Yes, I think the narcissist often thinks back to his fatal relationships. He knows he has failed, but he cannot admit it. He will wonder why this had to happen and why it is always following the same pattern in future cases.A self-reflection with behavioural change is not possible for him due to lack of empathy. This is where therapy has to start.
Now that we all have some kind of narcissistic behavioral traits, the question arises as to how we deal with it.Relationships that run in the principles of instinctive handling should be tried to “repair”. Good signs are intense sexuality and understanding without words with common ways of thinking.It is too easy for us to change partnerships like shirts. Dating apps allow you to wipe away a (already embellished) photo. It doesn’t get better, it just gets different 鈥?usually with the same fatal end.
If both partners have the above good signs, one should work on maintaining the relationship.If the conflicts are not too incisive, you can try it on your own by taking the ups and downs out of the relationship. So to speak, together approach an average. The relationship is becoming less exciting, but more stable.
In general, I would use coaching or therapy by expert third parties, because narcissists can hardly break out of their manipulative object-related world.
Learning to live from “narcissist to narcissist” seems to be a worthwhile endeavor. Because we are all in a narcissistic world.The advice of the “run” from American forums is not a solution. Working on an improvement in a small way on a narcissistic relationship is worthwhile.
As I said, this is my personal opinion on this fairly topical issue.I’m not a psychologist. Everyone has to inform themselves independently from several sources and make their decisions individually.