Yes, people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) often accuse other people in many things and tend to express their feelings as the fault of other people.However, it is also important to remember that the conduct of accusing another person of NPD is not sufficient to assume that he or she has it.
Object consistency and division:
People who suffer from NPD have great difficulty in maintaining “object consistency”, i.e. the ability to maintain a positive emotional attachment to someone when they are injured, upset, humiliated, offended, etc.to become. They often go into “splitting” or switching between other people to see as “all good” or “all bad” to cope with the painful emotional circumstances. As a child, for example, it would have been too painful to integrate the good version and bad version of the parents they loved and admired, but constantly hurt them emotionally and/or physically.
As a result, most people with NPD learned to deal with it by looking at the other person being considered good or bad (splitting).If the other person was very bad, she automatically broke off her positive emotional bond (lack of object consistency) to cope with it. As adults, when someone else found something hurtful, did something about them, they automatically switched to viewing that person as all bad and continued their unconscious coping mechanisms to become emotionally (as as a child). .
People suffering from NPD often feel narcissistically hurt by other people around them and are particularly sensitive to feelings of shame, guilt and humiliation.To protect themselves from these feelings, they develop very strong defense mechanisms by blaming other people for their bad feelings (which looks like they are called “narcissist”). Most people with NPD do not even know that in the case of a narcissistic injury, they are probably not able to see the whole situation realistically and objectively or to endure empathy in the other person’s view (as this will bring them back would be great shame about their role, guilt, worthlessness, etc. to feel.
Why doesn’t it work to suspend them?
Someone with NPD does not “lie” when he says that another person is “a narcissist” or treats them badly.They feel this way and honestly experience the situation they find themselves in as a painful narcissistic injury (which deeply hurts them, causing resentment, anger and/or other negative feelings). This is one of the many reasons why the popular idea of uncovering a narcissist would be unsuccessful at best and is likely to be perceived more as an outward victim of inflammation. Someone with NPD experiences his whole world in a very different way than someone who has object consistency and does not have to deal with emotional division.
- Imagine talking to someone who convinces the sky of purple.
They were taught this by a very young age, which was confirmed all their lives, and every time someone wanted to tell them it was blue, they just felt stupid and worthless to believe something they thought they “know.” wrong, humiliated and attacked. It would violate everything they deeply believed. They didn’t suddenly say, “Oh my God, you’re right, thank you for telling me I’m going to rethink the way I see the universe!” Instead, they would probably defend themselves, feel attacked, feel gas-tested, etc. (Perhaps you see the person other than NPD) because they wouldn’t know that what they had learned at a young age had created a distorted view of the sky.
The point is…
Yes, people who suffer from NPD often feel that everyone else in their lives is causing the problems they have.They don’t usually lie or are deliberately illuminated with gas (although this is possible under certain circumstances, such as malignant NPD). Instead, they perceive the world around them as they describe it. This is one of the reasons why it is very difficult for someone with an NPD to become aware of psychotherapy and /or seek treatment to work on the emotional and behavioral disorders they face. To achieve this, they must overcome the enormous shame and guilt that arises for them when they acknowledge that they may play a role or are “wrong” in many of the difficulties they face. Someone who suffers from NPD has resisted these kinds of painful feelings all his life.