In a relationship with an NPSler, there are intentional and unintentional injuries.A deliberate violation always requires knowledge of an action. In such cases, there is an exemplary desire to punish the partner for an assaulthe perceives, his disobedience,his sovereignty or even sometimes just that he feels pushed into an inferior position. Want.He learns the satisfaction of atonement about his partner’s suffering. In those moments he senses his importance, the legality of his punitive action, a sadistic satisfaction in the suffering-self-similarity to the other – to be god-like, and thus to rule over the deep feelings of others.
The unintentional injuries often occur after the narcissist believes that the partner is just reflecting his own shadows.This is done subconsciously. He suddenly recognizes a supposed weakness in his partner. However, this triggers real existing and hidden parts in the narcissist. Now he (N) goes on defense and projects with unmistakable emphasis exactly these parts completely on his partner (also via misunderstandings) and fights on this projection surface, like an obsessed animal, his own contempt now vicariously at his Partner. The N cannot be non-perfect. He cannot reflect on his shadows and certainly cannot admit them. He is dependent on this psychological feat to bring the pressure of his own self-loathing into the outside so that he can be ashamed of it.
My Cluster B always saw me as a highly promiscuous and sex-addicted woman.This after I told him about a sexual experience as a young woman.He jumped up in shock, with pure disgust, and disappeared in the dark of the night. Later, he added a comment to my account, insisting that I had said “but I didn’t take any money for it.”Completely confused about why I might have said something like this (gaslighting), I kept digging through the conversation and believed I was suffering from dementia.This addition was similarly absurd when I reported that I had raised money at the Savings Bank today PLUS and I did not rob the bank with gunpoint during this time.
He shamed me to the extreme, insisting that I was abysmally perverted, had “certain inclinations” and that he could not satisfy me.My true nature, which practiced periods of sexual abstinence for years, did not matter. It wasn’t going to get through and so I was constantly in the position of defending my dignity and correcting this reprehensible and false image of me.
Today I know what happened here.
He used me as his projection screen for his perversion of women and his insatiable drive about admiration and sexuality to exploit women, even other women during a relationship, for his supply regulation.He fought his own ailing and disgusting value system on me.He himself did not attach great importance to true intimacy; this was not hidden from me either. For him, sexuality is a currency with which a service (supply) is paid for and it is also a means of sanction if the service provider decreases in its service. Again, This was not spared me.
And so it came………..
What I didn’t know was that he knew he was my prostitute, “but didn’t take money for it, but something much more valuable.”