yes.The aunt, the uncle, the cousin, the wife of my cousin and the daughter of my cousin. All were more or less invited by my MIL (Mother in Law = mother-in-law) without my knowledge.
My husband and I had gone to our separate churches all our lives.Between all those in these churches and all our family, friends and co-workers, who we would have to invite so that no one feels hurt, we have looked at a guest list of over 400. None of us wanted anything. My husband sincerely wanted to flee to the local court. I made a compromise: a wedding on the beach of Mexico, about 45 minutes south of San Diego. Only immediate family, grandparents and some very close friends. All in all, a little more than 30 people were present, which was perfect, as we had rented condominiums from a great aunt of mine and had just enough space for all of us.
Then, out of the blue, my future MIL tells me that her brother and sister-in-law and her son and his family are coming.Let me tell you I’m rested…. I flipped out quietly and inwardly because I was overly focused on not being accused of being a bridesmaid in any way, but inside I was angry.
“How did they even figure out where we were going?” I was quietly raging at my MIL.
She shrugged and tried to get busy to avoid eye contact.’They asked because they thought they were invited and I didn’t know what to tell them. I told them to talk to you … “
wonderful.Just great. I had 5 extra relatives that I hardly knew and came to an event to which they had NOT been invited because there was no room for additional people! We were not even allowed to invite guests from the outside to the complex as we were not the owners of the condominiums, which meant that they probably rented rooms in a hotel in the city itself and were then turned away at the gates when they tried to Wedding to attend. I was stressed and desperate and didn’t know what was going on or how or why this had happened.
ENDLICH the daughter-in-law got my number from my MIL and invited me and my fianc茅 to dinner to “find out the whole thing”.She made something simple and delicious, taco soup, if I remember correctly. We talked at dinner, and the pieces began to fall into place.
My husband and his cousin (the son of aunt and uncle) had been born two months apart.As the eldest grandchildren, they had grown up together and were very close until early adulthood. Since the cousin was an only child, he and his parents considered my fianc茅 as a brother or brother. Son. When he got engaged, of course, they assumed they would be at his wedding, no matter how far they had to go or how quickly they had to get passports. On top of that, my husband’s family is known for their lack of communication and my MIL tried to deal with it myself, and it was easy to see how their (for me) surprising participation came about. Honestly, I felt like a heel. They were so incredibly nice and kind and wanted to be there for my husband to celebrate with him that they spent two months tracking down information, making last-minute reservations and spending a lot of money on it. To show love. Not only had they all drawn up their own travel plans, but they had also paid extra to book a room in the same complex as us, even without my great-aunt’s discount. They had worked everything out perfectly and quietly, so as not to disturb me at all. And there I was, angry at the fact that MY plans had gone wrong. I left dinner that evening, both immensely relieved and a little less selfish.
These dear relatives did not spend the night before the wedding by the pool, as they claimed, but worked to decorate the small venue where the ceremony and reception were to take place.They set up tables and chairs, helped assembling the archway, and arranged centerpieces and lights. No one asked them to do anything about it. They just saw a need and happily stepped in to help. In fact, they were so quiet and humble that I had no idea what they had done until my mother swarmed me after I came home from my honeymoon. They were there out of sincere kindness to show their love and support in the way we need.
On the day of my wedding there were a total of 36 people.
I am and will be infinitely grateful to each of them, including the “five surprises”. They miraculously showed what an amazing, loving and supportive family I was allowed to marry in!
Have a nice day!