I want a man to behave like a gentleman BECAUSE I am a feminist.Among themselves behave like a gentleman I mean respecting my personal boundaries, consulting instead of Overrulen, empathic behavior, not making racist/sexistic/homophobic comments etc.
I think we should make a difference between how you want to be treated as a PARTNER, and how you want to be treated as a PERSON.
As a PERSON, I want everyone, not just men, to treat me politely and considerate.Keeping a door open, stopping my jacket, chasing me that I’m hanging my bag (some photografy are too common hahaha), these are things I expect from other people, completely independent of their sex.
As a PARTNER I want my partner, regardless of their gender (which I can easily say since I am bisexual and have relationships with both men and women) cares for me and treats me with respect.I do not expect any more or different behaviour from my male partners than from my female partners. My expectations are aligned with their personalities and not their gender. So if my partner loves cooking, then I find it fine when my partner cooks for me. And when my partner walks in front of me, I find it only logical than to keep the door open for me. If I have a relationship with a woman, I would find it rather ridiculous if she would not keep the door open for me, let’s be sure hahaha, that would make me beautiful.
So in that sense, I think it is not about us wanting our men to be a gentleman for our own, but that we want our partners to take care of us.And if that means that he puts the rubbish bin out, then that is a fine concern. But that is not fine because I am a woman and would like to be cared for by a man, but because I am a man who wants to be cared for by her partner.
I think this is something that is intertwined with many people.
I think you can be feminist and want a man to treat you “as a gentleman” because he sees you as a human being and not as a woman.
Feminism is of course a very broad concept that can be filled in in a very different way and has been filled. The different feminist waves had different objectives.
I think that the goals of the first feminist wave (which was also broad) can be reconciled perfectly with a man who treats women differently than men.The goal was to obtain equal rights, with the focus on voting right.
Today, the focus is more on how women are treated differently in everyday life and the focus is more on equal treatment.In that respect, another treatment is expected because your wife is a bit contradictory.
That being said, it is free to anyone, including feminists, to have certain preferences if you have a date, without having to interfere with their broader ideological values.In that respect, it may be more important that you expect those things as individuals, and also communicate so, with a certain preference, rather than because you are a woman.
The phrase “as a gentleman” is strictly speaking also a little contradictory to contemporary feminist thought that equality is of paramount importance, because it has certain specific expectations of someone purely because he is a man.
I think a man should always behave like a gentleman.Because I don’t know what the alternative is. Behave like a beast? Are you a lomp? What do you actually mean…
And what a feminist thinks of it is completely irrelevant.I myself make out how I behave (said this gentleman).
What do you mean by ‘ behave like a Lord ‘?Keep doors open? Chairs? Throw my coat in a pee?
Perhaps a small history lesson is in place.Many of the things that you as ‘ Lord ‘ are supposed to do for a ‘ lady ‘ had mainly to do with fashion in the past. Hoop skirts, cushions on the back piece and corsets that made it almost impossible to breathe. A ‘ real lady ‘ therefore had very little physical mobility because she had to be especially beautiful for the Lords.
And try to open a door with a crat skirt.Then you have to bend over. But that is very difficult with such a corset. And then sit down… You don’t even see that chair… It’s good that someone helps you.
The beauty of this time and the beauty of feminism, is that in a large (but still too small) part of the world women can dress today as they want without becoming a social outcast (at least in theory… Of course, we still judge if someone is ‘ not one of us ‘ because of his way of clothing.They can just do something revolutionary to attract something they feel good at. And with a single exception here and there on the way to a comicon, you can see very few hoop skirts more.
I don’t help women with seating.They can do just as well. I keep doors open. I do that for everyone.
And-As a man-I expect people to behave decently towards me.That is the same thing a woman should expect. So if your question is actually ‘ you expect as a feminist, that men behave decently ‘ then I hope that the answer of most women will be ‘ yes ‘.
For if there is no expectation, that men are able to behave decently, it is deeply sad with society.