We are in fact all a bit narcissistic and that is also healthy.It only becomes disturbing if someone is going to use another for his or her own gain. A person with NPS will never be able to establish a healthy equivalent relationship with anyone. The disorder is in the way. This will not heal either. While someone with more than average narcissistic traits can be a difficult person (and often also will be), but perhaps by means of therapy can achieve an improvement. It is a broad spectrum in which all extremes are conceivable. It is important whether the person is open to change. A real narcissist will not be on his list. Change? I? With me is nothing wrong ‘. That is their motto. That will also be a good predictor for the outcome and whether you need to put energy into it.
I will help you out of the dream very quickly.Without you knowing someone better and being able to penetrate that person, observing that person over a longer term and talking to that person, about narcissism, what the content, what the underlying motivations are and how they manifest, you can Not at all say whether behavior is narcissistic or not.
Behaviour itself, says nothing at all.I will give you an example.
Albert and Ted
Albert and Ted-colleagues and both bachelors-are both ready to go to work.
They both stand up, take a shower, have breakfast while they dress up, and while they go out the door they quickly look in the mirror in the hallway of their apartments or their tie is right. They take the tram and the metro to the city centre, where they walk towards the office building where they work.
They arrive at the crossroads at the same time and at the traffic light there is a twin.Two old little ladies from far into the 70. Albert asks if they will help you cross. The old farts gratefully take the help. Under the crossing the young men flirting a bit with the ladies, as older ladies like it and already giggling and smiling they reach the other side. There they wish each other a fine day and say goodbye. Albert goes in, the ladies go on a bold shopping trip and Ted still stays with a few other colleagues outside a little smoking.
Say who the narcissist is. Albert of Ted.
You obviously have no idea.Fat Gamble, 50% chance you’ll have it right. But one of the Lords is narcissistic and the other is not. But based on the information given, EVERYTHING you can perceive as a byer-more than that actually, because I tell you a whole story, much more than you can actually see-you really can’t tell who is the narcissist here. And yet Ted is the narcissist. And Albert is a leader in local Scouting.
But they do exactly the same.And that is precisely what it is about: it is not about what they do, but what they do.
If you knew Ted well better, you might know that he hates old people.And you might find it strange that he helped those ladies to cross. Had you known that Ted had an eye on one of the ladies who were smoking outside in the group, you might have suspected an alternative motive. But if you don’t know those things, what can you say about one’s behavior?
The point is: Before that you can say that behavior is narcissistic, you really have to know very well what you are about.
Coming back to your question: everyone exhibits narcissistic behavior.Really, everyone. That’s healthy. Narcissism is one of the very first defense mechanisms we develop as a human being. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It helps us to remain competitive, sharp, creative, progressive and motivated. It helps us to cope with situations in life that we experience as critical and threatening.
It becomes problematic if someone very often reacts narcissistically.Then it says something about that person’s self-confidence. And someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, who is ‘ by default ‘ narcissistically set. His subconscious thinking patterns are always looking for threats. And when something is perceived as a threat, this person responds to it from a narcissistic approach. But this person does not experience any threat, he or she will not react narcissistically either.
It is therefore for a layman not to simply determine whether someone has a lot of narcissistic traits, or leads to narcissistic personality disorder.The displayed reactions are similar or very similar.
But st茅l that you could distinguish it, and that you are dealing with someone who has ‘ only ‘ narcissistic features.Can you then support it by pointing this person to it, and will it improve? Because that is your very question.
Not without it.That person will have to learn to understand what he or she responds to. By just saying, hey, this is not okay, you don’t help that person with that, so you just make it worse. As has been said, this is a situation where that person is already feeling uncertain. In addition to criticism, it does not help.
Also criticising and saying how to do it, puts little so much on the dike.Because that person does not make it his own. This way you learn a monkey a little trick. If you really want to bring about improvement in such a situation, then you will have to analyse the situation, let the person in question consider what and why he felt that, why that calculated that reaction called (triggered), with which the person associates it, Clarify the fact that the situations are not the same, and let the person think about how he could react differently in this situation with the same or a similar result. And believe me, that’s quite a job.