I feel comfortable with touches when I know and trust you.I then intuitively know your intentions and my fight, flight, freeze response will not come. Shaking hands is not a problem for me, even though I don’t appreciate those slack-handed (giving me chills over my back) or the sporadic man who thinks a solid hand means you have to squeeze as hard as possible, no matter which one you give a hand. (Seriously, I weigh just over 50kg. You really don’t have to squeeze me as hard as a 100kg guy for a solid hand.)
However, if I am tired, I can have much less and get more easily stimulated.When I say that you have to let me, I mean it. My reserve is then on and I need to deal with people.
My body does not necessarily feel uncomfortable, I have more nuisance from outside stimuli that irritate.These are usually bleary things like labels, long hairs in your shirt, sticking fingers, sleep in my eyes, etc. I think I have a relatively long time to spend my ‘ picking ‘ behaviour.
I’m not asexual, as many people with ASD (~ 25% is asexually), I do need a high degree of trust and a longer relationship to come so far.This is not so long (several months), but many neurotypical people find this too long and are already expecting sex after 2 dates of an hour. I seriously wonder if I am so weird or that what is normally found today is actually so normal. For me it is very simple: I do not want to have sex with strangers and after 2 hours you are still a stranger. I spent more time with random patients in the hospital. I spent more time with opponents in a football game. They are still strangers to me. I have been on team sports for years. My most teammates I don’t call friends, this is for my a rather selective group of people. The same applies to relationships.
For me, my body has always been weird.I am crazy For example if I have something around my neck and feel it there too. A pair of jeans the same ditto. Everything that is tight on my skin I experience as a founding.
Face painting as a child.Nice I thought. I got mad from the feeling on my face. Therefore, I don’t have to tell you that lipstick or how hot that stuff, foundation, I can’t tolerate it. Nail polish, should be off! Only on my toes do I not bother or let me say so-I’m not going to frutting my toes in public lol. Mascara (and Eyeshadow NOT SITTING) I have practiced for a long time, I am now so far that at the end of the day I will NOT feel like I’m sitting on my lashes when I get home. G! Then my husband calls, ‘ What do you have gore nails! ‘ All Black haha, ‘ Oh you’ve been sitting in your mascara again. ‘
Being touched by someone I don’t know is very unpleasant to me.All my brainpan beats on tilt and that’s not a nice feeling. The disadvantage is that people often translate this violent reaction as ‘ o She likes me! ‘ because I turn red and my language file? Error 404 # language not found. I would even dare to argue that it feels painful.
The same thing happens when I know someone, actually, only someone who knows me will not have to touch me.The only thing I experience is of my husband and my son, and it still shouldn’t be sudden. Luckily everyone at our home is just as sensitive so that saves;)
My son is totally mad about labels in his T-shirts or underpants!
In terms of sexuality, that is very intense for us and therefore also very fine.Just like in any ordinary relationship you need to get to know each other. Was fine for him I think I do not really know shame in that area. I am very direct so I just said that I find fine and not. That makes it a lot easier.
Ultimately, the sensitivity is a front and disadvantage.Disadvantageous if you don’t know what’s going on with you or don’t know how to handle it. Now that I am older I can better indicate my boundaries and I also know where my boundaries lie. The adverse elements are therefore very limited now. I can intensely enjoy a cool breeze on my skin. The scent of summer when I go to my work bike. That smells sort of like bath pearls. I think it’s flowers that are in bloom, in autumn and winter the air smells very different. Coriander I would prefer to stop in my nose, which I find so nice smelling haha.
This autumn holiday I go to Sardinia and I am very curious how it smells there!:D
Yes, I feel uncomfortable in my body when I am (1.) overstimulated, (2.) are already overstimulated and then touched or by the touch get some sort of shiver or goosebumps which then goes with an increase in overstimulation.This is what I think mainly because of the unpredictability, nothing has been announced beforehand, nothing could be calculated and then the overstimulation is very plausible the fastest on the touch. As for sexuality, I hardly dare to fantasize about that, which also causes some kind of discomfort. I can have a fantasy about something-an act-have what to do with sex, but it goes no further than that because I can’t imagine anything at Real sex actually (the only way-for me-to excite that is pornography), I can girls/women from my Surroundings sometimes like and have had in school and study a few times infatuation, but I would not even want to have sex with them. It does not interest me anything, and in practice it seems to me to be even more uncomfortable because of the touches that are part of it (is that a kind of asexuality?).
I am comfortable in my body.I am fortunate to have two strong parents.
When I see a touch to come I am not afraid, it makes out if I know someone, trust or attracted to feel if I find it annoying or not.When I don’t see a touch coming to me, I’m afraid, but luckily that doesn’t happen often, and people are getting through that fast.
How does that work with sexuality?Personally, I have to trust someone well before I want to sit close to someone. A lot more I don’t need, I haven’t tried that any further.