Mentally forcing you to think positively about it and be happy for them to start and build their own lives + DON’T SIT STILL!Focus on work or find a hobby that encourages you to be busy and where you have satisfaction or where you have MSS social contacts. Travel with your partner, get to know each other AGAIN, because now you are alone you will find that things are changing, can be very intriguing, and your band can become very strong, play together cinema or home games, communicate… Planning things for short term and longer term, something that you want to try or do for a long time. It can now feel very empty at home, but actually you are now back free! Try to view it like that, everything starts in the head, how you think about your situation, there are a lot of possibilities, do not stay to be tackled and start something, take a sheet and write down everything you want to do and take steps there. Great luck! And enjoy life!
Viewing the event as something positive may help.Your children are going to learn to become independent, they are going to learn their own legs. The things that you as a parent have always done for them are now learning to do themselves. That’s going to make you proud as a parent. You are going to have to look at the way you want to shape your life, without children living at home. What kind of activities do you like and you may not have had time for because you were so busy caring for your children. Besides your children, there are also other things that can make your life meaningful. Discover what those things are and trust that your children will find their own way and you too! Good luck.
I have no adult children yet and my own departure with 19 and 21yrs did not go smoothly.But I do have a daughter who exchanges my house every week for that of her father. In The holiday period that is even for several weeks.
The way of questioning gives me the feeling that you find it hard that they are going.Then it is not learning to cope with the fat stretch, but with the feelings that come with it. You can rest in the departure and the feelings there, they are valid and may be there. It’s okay. Trust that they can now do it themselves, that it is their time to fall and learn from the ‘ field of work ‘.
Do you look at the departure with fear?Then wonder what you’re afraid of. Are you afraid that they don’t save it or are you afraid you’re not red? Whatever it is, it’s time to do things differently now. Because now you only have to take care of yourself (and your partner), the children can do it themselves now. Find a hobby, start a business, adopt a pet (it’s just kids;)), go travel..
Or is it the change is role that you can not do well with Daan?Because as soon as the children go out of the house, the mother/Father role no longer has such significance in your daily life. Now you are the most important again.
And above all.Be proud.
Proud of your children, proud of the power they can handle.Proud that you have accompanied them during their lives, proud that you have prepared them well, proud that you have your task as a parent.
I can’t tell you how I do it, unless you count the weekly departure of toddler with it.I can tell you how my parents went about it and why they did so.
My daughter goes out of the house every week for a few days, in the holidays a little longer.And depending on our week together, the departure is difficult or easy.
If it is difficult, then come that because we were not ready yet.We still had unfinished business, she needed something from me or I got her. We cry, we miss each other. I reflect on what we are missing, what we were lacking, what caused the departure to be so difficult. If it’s something I’m looking for, which doesn’t actually belong there, I’m looking for alternatives. Is it something I have been lacking, then I make sure it is there next time I see her.
If it is easy, then we have confidence in each other and our needs are fulfilled.Then I have resignation in her departure, because I know that I see her again.
Than.My own departure.
My father left, I did not join.Even though it was reversed, the fact remains that we are doing. I could do it without him, was even angry when IE went. But I had said goodbye a lot earlier, so I was not heavy. I was delighted with the short time I always saw him. He had trouble with it, he was not yet ready to increase the distance between us. He believed that I could stand on his own feet, but could not do that myself. Practically though, emotionally not. He could not exert any influence on me by the distance. Moreover, he had a gigantic guilt, left us in the lurch to save himself. Although I have said to him several times that it is better so and did not leave even more harmed, that guilt remains. Although I still lean on him in difficult times, that guilt remains. And until he really dares to look inside, he will always continue to struggle with the departure of the children.
Two years later I also left my mother.Another parent who leaned on her children to stay upright in life. She also could not handle the departure of her children. For although the children were ready to stand on their own legs, she was not yet. She was not yet ready to do it independently.
It seems to me that the parent should accept this.It will never really get used very well, but your child just keeps walking around on the same Earth and often also in the same country. Disappear they will hopefully never, so you can always look them up! Whether they are you, of course, they will definitely do it!
By helping them move and be proud of their independence.And applause for yourself, of course, that you have brought them up to self-employed adults!