I have a very heavy and dramatic life story.And I had to face young pure fear.
I don’t want to explain any personal details here, but because of my life experience I have become very tough and strong, but, paradoxically, I have also consciously chosen to lead my life through love.
The rest of my family has chosen fear, and I see them, full of hatred, fear, envy and jealousy.They do not grow, and always continue to repeat the same old furious fears. That is why I no longer speak to them.
Nothing can grow out of such negativity.I am a person who always strives for improvement and optimisation. I always want to learn, experience new things and get to know new people. And if my actions were motivated by fear, I would never experience new things, or get to know new people.
Here’s an example: (Trigger warning)
I’ve been single for almost 2 years.Dating after a 16 year long relationship was completely new to me. I went with dating as I am going to live with: enthusiastic, honest, open, and trusting.
But, in May, a man from Amsterdam profited from my naivety, and before I could notice anything I was drugged and in his apartment.
I’m not going to give any details there, but you can guess what happened.
I am strong enough to tackle the consequences and the aftermath of it, but that was indeed quite heavy.And in the beginning, I felt a lot of fear. The first time I went out afterwards, I was so afraid I drink just water out of a bottle, and I kept it all night anxiously against my chest.
Later, I have thought very deeply.And I have consciously decided to continue to live by love.
Firstly, I want this man to have no further influence on my life.
Secondly, I want to continue to assume that everyone is good until the contrary is proven.And not the other way around.
And that is the (no longer) secret meaning of my hand tattoo.
I choose to lead my life through love, therefore there is a radiant heart on my right hand.
I doubt that many of my actions are motivated by anything.That I have crossed my hands when I read this question has nothing to do with fear or love. My body just did an action as part of the 芒 鈧?艙at table zitten芒 鈧?process in my brain. Probably a part of my brain was working to adjust the balance of my body and another part to handle a slight pressure in me lower back. The final action, the crossing of the hands, was a compromise between many processes.
Other actions, in life where I may well think about the possible options are difficult to put under a denominator.I do things that I do not have much in, for example by the rain bikes, not out of love but also not for fear. Anyway, but the raincycling is not a victory for me on an internal fear of getting wet, or fear of missing something fun, or to meet my love at my destination. Sometimes you are just hungry, just when it rains. And then you can consider waiting for a moment until it has stopped raining, or going out of impatience anyway, because you expect it to last a long time and you are hungry (not fear).
Fear and love are difficult motivations.Both have something uncontrollably, irrationeels in them. For fear of open spaces, not to cross a square, rational does not have any content. Nothing can happen on an empty square. Love also rarely comes out with rational motivation to make. Why do you love the one and not the other? You can write books about it and still not come up with a clear answer. Sometimes love and fear are mixed. Why do people step into a rollercoaster? Probably to the kick. The love of speed to have a fearful feeling once. Love and fear are then combined motivators.
It fixed me hard to pinpoint a main reason for many of my actions.What ultimately counts is what happened.
I think the question has too few alternatives.
Some actions are motivated from my basic needs (eating, drinking, sleeping, sex, relieving, urinating, too hot/too cold)
Some actions are motivated by other human needs.
So love and fear can also be a motivator.If I do something for my fellow man that is rather out of love, if I want to avoid a certain danger, it will have to deal with fear sooner.
The free will is heavily overrated.People, including myself, are driven to a large extent by instincts, the subconscious. Emotions like fear and love are genetically determined because these emotions turned out to be evolutionarily beneficial. Of course, modern people will still make use of these useful things.
Are your actions motivated by fear or by love?
This is what they have in English a 芒 鈧?虄false Dichotomie芒 鈧劉 (either false dilemma).Fear is the first emotion, the survival instinct. Love is a result of complex neurological and chemical processes in organisms (yes, not only in those of humans). So they are not comparing with each other and when you say that something originates from the one, you will eventually be able to dig through that it still originates from the other.
You love your kids.But is that love or fear?
The love you feel is meant to overcome the fear.After all, why do you get kids? Because you feel love? No, it only comes with the expectant pattern and then the chemical change in parents when the child is born. After that, love is bloated by the fact that the parent tries to deny the fear of loss for the remaining time. After all, our body instinctively knows that our genes are passed into our children.
But, is it just fear?No.
Courage is when one does it right despite the fear.
As a parent, we are often much braver than we would be without children.Sometimes also the other way round, but exception to exception.
We can also take care of children of another.No genetic bonding, no responsibility, no future dependence. Meanwhile, the complex organism called Homo sapiens has been developed into an animal species that can determine how it handles feelings through choices. So it can even motivate actions from a cognitive point of view, completely free of feelings such as fear and love.
I have an incredible urge to drive, and when things get up, I’m just a bigger fighter.
I am not let anything stop me.That’s how I managed to fight myself out of borderline.
It makes it very difficult for me to be physically ill.I have Ehlers Danlos, a hereditary disorder of the connective tissues and the worst side effect of that condition is chronic exhaustion (fatigue I can not call it for years). I live on 2% energy. Da芒 鈧劉 s not much.
My fighting urge makes me difficult to accept it.But you cannot overcome the physical with fighting urge.
But all the other?Love for Life is paramount: Come on with your challenge!
Man reacts naturally from his own fears and insecurities.All our actions are thus in the deepest sense motivated by fears.
Despite these fears, we can show courage and consciously make other choices.
Our primary reactions are fighting, fleeing, freezing or befriends.I.e.: When confronted with an threatening situation and fear occurs, we apply 脙 漏 脙 漏 N of these reactions:
- Fight We are going to confront
- Flights We try to get away from the threat
- Freeze We pretend we do not exist and hope that the threat ignores us.
- Befriends; We try to make the gene that threatens us from enemy to friend.
Every man has his own natural way of responding from his emotion in a particular situation on 脙 漏 脙 漏 N of these ways.
M脙 隆 脙 隆 R because emotions are controlled hormonally, we are affected, provided that we have the 芒 鈧?虄strength 芒 鈧劉.In this we are just as different from the rest of the animal world.
So We choose not to let the fear reign, and to say to ourselves: 芒 鈧?艗no, I am NOT going to be in defense now.I’ll do it differently! Instead of going to the discussion, I’m going to join that person’s plan, and I’m going to help him/her. 芒 鈧?(I choose not fighting, but befriends).
We DO not NEED to rule ourselves as a human being by our primeman’ instincts.It is-unfortunately-so that we do the lion’s share of our time.
I strive to motivate you as much as possible by love.Through the things I believe in, which I stand for, by positive influences. Every time I let myself be seduced by fear, it is bad. Fear, especially those by uncertainty, in always destructive.
When I do something by fear that is often impulsive and ill-conceived, actually without the belief that it is good. This is also often impulsive by love, but always with the conviction that it is good. As a rule, I take the time to think through this somewhat longer.
Most time out of necessity.Because I want it, or the meaning of it when it is proposed or presented to me.
When it comes to interaction, it is the context that determines whether I formulate the action from a ratio or emotion.
It is not always necessary to have done the whole analysis beforehand.Just like in traffic, it’s a current flow of information that determines what your next action is. If you control the matter, it will be sensible. If not then you hang with engine and already in the guardrail.
In this sense, focus is of great importance.
As a sidetrack it is this why I believe that management is not a profession, and often not with professional managers through a door can.Knowledge of the matter and focus on the subject of discussion (to act) is often lacking.